Daine and the Freaky Visions
by Lost-magic
Summary: Okay, this may be the end, but I need you help! You will decide if the story shall go on or end! R&R please! And beware of waxengitis!
1. Creepy Tigers and Visions

Disclaimer: this is not mine so have fun reading and since its not mine but will be very good you can sit there and pretend that it is yours even though it is not!  
  
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"Good morning," said Daine as she got out of bed, then realized that no one was around. She swore to her self, she hated being alone.  
  
Suddenly a giant tiger jumped into her room yelling, "Daine, your cruelty and evilness shall doom you if you do not make amends!"  
  
"But I'm not evil at all!" she screamed.  
  
"YES YOU ARE! IF YOU WISH NOT TO BE DOOMED TO BE HAUNTED BY VISIONS OF YOUR EVIL DEEDS FOR ALL ETERNITY LISTEN TO ME!" boomed the Tiger, "YOU SHALL BE HAUNTED BY THREE VISION EACH MORE TERIFYING THAN THE LAST! THE FIRST VISION SHALL BEGIN.....NOW!" Then the tiger vanished and Daine was in a church full of dressed up people.  
  
"Where am I?!" Cried Daine in fright.  
  
"Why my dear, we are at Kel and Neal's wedding," said Numair.  
  
Daine suddenly realized that she was now wearing her normalish clothes, "What the-"  
  
Some wedding music starts and Daine sees Kel 'walking' down the isle, actually being dragged, "NO! I DON'T WANT TO MARRY NEAL!"  
  
At the sight of Daine Neal's face lit up, "I don't want to marry you either! Diane, would you marry me?!"  
  
"WHAT?!" cried Daine.  
  
Numair looked angry, "How can you ask a married woman to marry you?"  
  
Daine looked confused, "We aren't married!"  
  
Numair grinned, "Yes we are!" Shows her a marriage certificate and wedding pictures.  
  
"Where were we when did this happen?!" screamed Daine.  
  
"A week ago, on our trip to Vegas, don't you remember...oh....wait you wouldn't remember because I got you really drunk so that you would marry me...." Numair looked nervous.  
  
Diane screamed, "This is too weird!"  
  
"Yay! I jolly love cheese!" cried Owen as he ran at the buffet.  
  
"Owen that's wax!" yelled Kel.  
  
"I don't care it tastes so good!" Owen looks at them all very seriously, "You guys, and I have something important to tell you.....I....I'm a wax addict!" He starts laugh insanely.  
  
"ME TOO!" cried Cleon, he starts to laugh insanely too.  
  
"Oh no! They have.....Waxngitis!" Cries Duke Baird.  
  
"Is it contagious!" cried Kel.  
  
"YES!" screams Baird as he run away.  
  
Then mass pandemonium brakes out. Everyone is trying to get out of the church at once making it impossible for anyone to leave, except for Owen and Cleon, who are still sitting on the floor insanely giggling.  
  
Daine looks disgusted, "WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?"  
  
Kel yelled, "HEY NEAL! I MAY NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE TO MARRY ANYONE SO GET YOUR FAT BUTT BACK UP BY THE ALTER AND MARRY ME!"  
  
Neal runs back to the alter and hides behind it, quivering in fear of Kel's wrath, "But...but....I want to marry Daine!"  
  
*Shut up you fool!* said Kitten.  
  
"Kitten, you can mindspeak!" cried Daine.  
  
*Of course Daine, and you never really married Numair* said Kit as the papers and pictures disappear, *The stork-man made that up. Really he married someone else!* She holds up a picture of Varice.  
  
"NUMAIR! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" screamed Daine.  
  
Numair screams and hides behind Varice, "She made me do it!"  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" cries Varice, "I WIN! YOU LOOSE! GO MARRY NEAL OR KADARR! NUMMY IS MINE!" Suddenly she turned into a giant pumpkin.  
  
"Yay! Now we can make jack-o-lanterns!" cried Kel as she pulls out a knife and starts to carve a face in the pumpkin.  
  
"MWAHAHAHA!" cried Roger who is dressed like Zoro, "LOOK WHO'S BACK TO TAKE OVER CHORUS!"  
  
"NOOOOOO!" screams Alanna as she jumps down from the rafters with a sword in her hand, "I'VE ALREADY KILLED YOU TWICE!"  
  
"OH MY GODS!" screamed Daine who is going insane, "WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?!?"  
  
*********  
  
So, do you like it? He he. It's very random, maybe not random enough though....well we'll see. If you like it I give her a second vision. That one I think will revolve around absolutely no plot! I've already got an ending so even if you hate it I'll probably finish it. But please tell me anyway, all you have to do is hit that little bluish button and type for like 8 seconds! SO REVIEW IT NOW! Thank you. *picks up a pineapple that was thrown at her in a different fic. and takes a bite* yummy! 


	2. Scary Songs

Disclaimer: Yup this ain't mine, yup. ****  
  
Suddenly the giant Tiger reappeared, "NOW FOR THE SECOND VISION!"  
  
"Ekkkk! Do I have to be in it!" cried Daine.  
  
"YES!" yelled the Tiger.  
  
"Okay," said Daine as she cringes in fear.  
  
"NOW!" cried the giant Tiger, then it disappeared.  
  
"Wow, this seems surprisingly normal," said Daine, "Something is not right."  
  
Owen and Cleon come running in after Kel singing to the tune of "Calling All Angels" by Train.  
  
Owen: I need a sign, to let me know you're mine!  
  
Cleon: I though that you had pledged to me that you were MINE!  
  
Kel: And I need to get away from you!  
Cuz I'm afraid that Owen that Owen just said moo.  
  
Cleon: But I though that you said that we'd be together forever.  
  
Kel: Did I say that? Well I never!  
  
Cleon and Owen: But we aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrreeee chasing you dooooown!  
We aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeee chasing you doooown.  
I wont give up, if you don't give up.  
I wont give up, if you don't give up.  
I wont give up, if you don't give up.  
I wont give up, if you don't give up.  
  
(They run off still chasing Kel)  
  
"Wow, that was freaky," Diane was really scared.  
  
Then Neal walks on, he looks directly at Daine then starts singing to sing to the tune of "This Love" by Maroon 5.  
  
Neal: I was so young I did not recognize, the magic flowing through  
your eyes,  
The chaos that controls your mind.  
Whispered excuses as I walked away, never to see your face  
again, always  
in my heart  
  
This love, has taken its toll, I mean you said go away, too many  
times befffooooorrrre. And I long, for you to be miiinnnnne.  
And now you will belong to me.  
  
"Awww, that's cute, disturbing, but cute," says Daine.  
  
"Thank you! Will you marry me?" he gets down on one knee.  
  
"NO!!!" Yells Numair who is still holding Varice the jack-o-lantern, "she's mine!"  
  
"NUMAIR!" Daine is looking very frustrated.  
  
"Ekkk!" Numair drops Varice and runs. Neal starts to eat wax and laugh insanely.  
  
"GODS HELP ME!" called Daine. Really sharp pencils start to rain on her head, "OWWWW! THAT REALLY HURTS!"  
  
Alanna looked confused, "hmmm, should I drink this? I think so." She drinks it then turns into a man. "YAY! I'M A REAL BOY!" Skips off.  
  
Daine looks deeply disturbed.  
  
Kel suddenly appears as she attempts to make canned soup, with "Alanna", Owen, and Cleon all watching her eagerly.  
  
Kel looks edgy, "Stop doing that! I'm making my dinner!"  
  
"We LOVE you!" they all say in unison.  
  
Roger runs in (still wearing a Zoro outfit) closely followed by Alex who is holding faithful.  
  
Alex strokes Faithful, "All my life people have said that I was like a cat, now I want to marry this one!" Cuddles with Faithful.  
  
Faithful looks frightened, *HELP ME ALANNA!*  
  
"Alanna" looks confused, "I'm not Alanna now, I'm Alan!"  
  
Roger looks at "Alan", "Thom, is that you? Thom I have to tell you...I...I love you! I have since the day you brought me back to life for the second time!"  
  
"I'm not Thom!" cries Alanna who now looks desperate.  
  
"Give the Duke a little kiss, pwease?" says roger cooing.  
  
"NEVER!" "Alan" chops him in half.  
  
"That looked painful," says Alex as he grooms Faithful.  
  
Daine looked crazy then starts to sing,  
  
You drive me crazy  
But it feels alright  
  
(Continues singing)  
  
Jon walks in, "I think Miss Daine has lost her mind, she should be hanged."  
  
Then everyone starts to chant, "HANGING HANGING HANGING!"  
  
**********  
  
So what did you think? Interesting I bet. Lol, have fun and I'll update soon weather you like it or not! But I LOVE to get reviews so hit the little blue button and REVIEW IT NOW! 


	3. Kangaroos and the Sword in the Pineapple

Disclaimer: This isn't mine but you don't really so just read along!  
  
Yup, thanks for reviewing my fic unless you are Huygens whose review stated (and I quote) "Wow. Never before has a writer made me want to gouge my eyes out so I can never read again, but you've done it. Kudos!" What does 'kudos' mean anyway? Okay, well, the fic goes on no matter what you all say so HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
************  
  
"NO! DON'T HANG ME!" cried Daine.  
  
"STUPID MORTAL!" boomed the tiger.  
  
"Wha?" said Daine as she realized that she was lying on the floor in her room.  
  
"THEY'RE VISIONS! NOW FOR THE NEXT ONE!" suddenly the tiger disappeared.  
  
*Daine! Help me!* called Kitten.  
  
"Where are you!" screamed Daine.  
  
*I'm in a pit of icky green goo and I'm getting pulled under!* called Kitten.  
  
"NO!" screamed Daine!  
  
"I'll save her!" screamed Owen as he jumped into the goo and swam towards Kitten, giggling madly.  
  
"NO!" Cried Daine, "She'll get waxengits!" Kitten started to giggle insanely.  
  
"NOOOOOO!" called Daine.  
  
Then Numair came running in, "Daine! There is a heard of rabid kangaroos chasing me! Can't you talk to them or something!?"  
  
"What's a kangaroo?" asked Daine.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" screamed Numair as he ran away.  
  
"What? Where is the rabid heard of kangaroos?" asked Daine.  
  
"RIGHT THERE!" Screamed Numair, as he pointed at nothing.  
  
"Okay...." Said Daine as she backed away then she "accidentally" stepped on Varice the pumpkin.  
  
"OWWWWWWWW!" screamed the pumpkin.  
  
"Oops," said Daine grinning evilly.  
  
Then Duke Roger came running in (still dressed as Zoro mind you), "Look everyone! Jonathan has been turned into a froggy!"  
  
Alanna looked ever so depressed, "My lovely prince! Thou has been transformed into a frog!"  
  
"PRINCE?! HE'S THE KING AND MY HUSBAND!" screamed Thayet as she brushed her hair.  
  
Alanna (who is a girl again) grins maliciously, "He hasn't been acting that way on all of those nights he had to work late."  
  
Thayet gasped, "You mean...he's been cheating on me with YOU?! How awful! And you are so ugly! How could he like you more than me!?" She ran away sobbing.  
  
Daine looks upset, "She's not usually like that."  
  
Jon comes running in dressed like a rabid kangaroo, "I love you Thayet!"  
  
"AHHHH! It's back!" screeched Numair.  
  
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?" Yelled Alex (who is still holding Faithful)  
  
"Oh my gods!" screeched Delia, "Alex, you have whiskers...and a tail!"  
  
"Where did you come from?!" cried a shocked looking Alex.  
  
"I was vacationing in Fordia," said Delia.  
  
"NOOO! I thought that you were dead and could not marry me so I decided to become a cat and marry Faithful! Had I know that you were on vacation-" cried Alex as he dropped Faithful.  
  
*Watch where you drop me! You didn't actually believe that old saying that cats always land on your feet did you?! Cuz we don't!* said Faithful who was writhing on the ground in pain.  
  
"NOOOOO!" screeched Daine.  
  
"But you will marry me!" called an ugly stormwing.  
  
"NOOOOO!" screeched Daine.  
  
"She won't, but I will!" cried the fantastic Zoro/Roger.  
  
"Wait! Whoever said that you are fantastic?" said Neal between giggles.  
  
"I did!" said Roger.  
  
Suddenly Thayet comes running in wearing a night gown singing Liz Phair songs,  
"I am extraordinary,  
If you ever get to know me."  
  
"Okay, Thayet, we know that," said Numair.  
  
"Did you know that I am jolly special?" asked Owen who was now giggling hieratically.  
  
"YES!" they all cried.  
  
"Oh, that is jolly good!" said Owen.  
  
"Where is kitten?" asked Daine.  
  
Owen giggled, "I jolly left her in the goo, she was too stuck!"  
  
""WHAT?!" yelled Daine who was now on the edge of hysterics.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM HIM! WAXENGITIS IS VERY CONTAGOUS!" yelled Duke Baird.  
  
"Wha?" said Daine.  
  
"YOU ARE TOO CLOSE TO HIM! STAND BACK EVERYONE!" then Baird gulled out him magic hat and pulled the vaccination to prevent waxengitis out of it. Then he stabbed the needle into his arm, "MWAHAHAHA! Now I am safe from it and you are not!"  
  
"Okay..." said Daine as she slowly backed away.  
  
Suddenly Kaddar ran in, "Look you guys! Some one threw this pineapple with a sword in it at me! Lets have a contest and see who can pull the sword out of the pineapple; whoever is the first to do it shall be named king of Fordia!"  
  
Everyone was in favor of this plan except for Daine who was thrown into a deep dark well and was never too be seen again, or so they all thought.  
  
Daine yelled out, "HELP ME!"  
  
"I'll save you!" said the evil stormwing who flew down the well and saved her.  
  
"Thank you!" said Daine.  
  
Then the stormwing turned into Numair, "Hello magelet! How did we get out here? Let's order a pizza and then watch the grandmas' frolic in the sunset!"  
  
"Eww!" said Daine.  
  
"Just an idea!" said Numair defensively. Then he kissed on each cheek and yelled, "WHERE IS VARICE!"  
  
"WHAT?!?!" screeched Daine.  
  
"Oops, did I say that out loud?" said Numair.  
  
"YAY!" squealed Kel, "I pulled the sword out of the pineapple! I'm the King of Fordia!" All Tortallans except Daine grovel and begin to worship Kel.  
  
Suddenly Daine was back on the floor in her room, she yelled "What is going on?!"  
  
"I'M SO SORRY!" yelled the Tiger, "APARENTLY YOU WERE NOT THE CRUEL EVIL PERSON THE GODS WERE TALKING ABOUT. THESE VISIONS WERE ACTUALLY MENT FOR THAYET! SORRY! BUT NOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD THEM YOU MUST GET SOME HELP, BECAUSE THEY WILL DRIVE YOU INSAINE!"  
  
"What?! All that for nothing?!" called Daine.  
  
"GOOD BYE!" said the tiger, and then it disappeared.  
  
Daine screamed herself to sleep.  
  
*********  
  
So, did you like it? I hope so! Tell me if you want more or if this should be done. R&R PLEASE! I won't know what to do, without reviews I am helpless! Bye bye! *begins to eat pineapple chunks then remembers she doesn't like plain pineapple and throws up* 


End file.
